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The primary culprit behind this altered vision is not booze but a potent concoction of Hollywood movies, social conditioning and wishful thinking.And fortunately, there are a few scientists on the case.So why do we listen to their advice when it comes to our relationships?The typical baby boomer advice to young people is to set high standards for a future spouse." It is Traister's message that I would like to share with the women I have spoken with lately, women who feel they need to defend themselves to others about why they are not married, why they are not "just settling down already" and why they are "being too picky." The women I speak of range from early 30s to early 40s.Some of them have never been married, while others were married briefly. The one thing these friends have in common is that they all say that are not "single by choice." They express the desire to find their perfect life partner.No standard is too high for our parents and in the communities where young people heed this advice the marriage rate is plummeting.

Consuming alcohol, it seems, tends to elevate desire and reduce inhibitions more than alter our actual perception of another person’s attractiveness.

Just as women have their hot-button issues with single men, so too have men with women—namely that the Christian women they see around them “expect too much” of men and have ridiculously high standards, spiritually speaking.

As one man lamented in response to my online survey of Christian singles, “Lower your standards. If I don't look like an evangelical, smell like an evangelical, have unattainable character and charisma, spend all my free time at church, have all my issues settled, have all my prayers answered, know Scripture inside out, love children ... ” I could picture him throwing up his hands in defeat.

Unmarried women poured into the teaching profession, powered teachers' unions, and founded women's colleges and colleges for African Americans.

This stage culminated with the passage of the Nineteenth Amendment in 1919, which allowed women to vote--though of course it didn't apply to plenty of women in the Jim Crow South.




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